PSYCHO-SOCIAL THOUGHTS ON DEATH

Undoubtedly death and dying have been institutionalized in the United States. This has affected how we grieve and how we deal, or don’t deal, with death in general. Not so long ago the average person died in his/her home surrounded by family and friends. This was part of the grieving process and death was accepted as a part of life.
In my family death is an open subject and it is looked at as part of life. By looking at death in this manner, there is less fear. While it is hard to not fear the unknown, talking about the unknown and the fact that everyone, no matter who they are, will face this unknown makes the subject easier to deal with when it occurs.
Even my young children understand that death is part of life. I do not want them to become desensitized to death and take the human element out of a very human fact. At a very young age, most children begin asking questions about death. It is a common occurrence in everyday life; whether it is a death of a person, a death of an animal life, or even a death of a plant. To ignore a child’s questions about death, not only desensitizes him/her, it does not teach them how to cope with death.
Additionally, by institutionalizing death, we have increased the commercialization of the grieving process. While we are afraid to talk about death before or when it happens, we are not afraid to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars during the grieving process. That is how we deal with death; we throw money at it and those who cannot afford to spend thousands of dollars on a funeral are made to feel as if they have failed their loved one somehow. We are not afraid to make donations to help someone give a loved one a burial. We are not afraid to make our own arrangement, financial and otherwise, for our own death, but we are afraid to discuss death itself. I find that a bit strange.
My family takes the opinion that our funerals should be carried out in the cheapest legal means possible and that the majority of the grieving process needs to focus on connecting with those left behind, not on how our dead selves can be shown how much we were loved by the amount of money spent on our funeral.
Discussion questions:
1. How do you feel that death should be explained to children?
2. What is the best way to deal with the death of a loved one and the grieving process? And does spending a lot of money, really help people cope with death?

When men and women hit the point in their life called "mid life" they express themselves in different ways. We learned in class that men go out and buy the fancy sport cars and women have the plastic surgery done, this is if they can afford it. It's funny because a week after we learned about this in class my dad went out and bought a Harley that he has always wanted and I asked my mom why now? She told me that he has always wanted one and if she didn't let him do it now he would be too old and he had the money from recently selling his business. This makes sense that he purchased it after both of his children have moved away for college and he doesn't have to hull us around because we all know there isn't much room on a motorcycle except for him, which I think was his plan.

The Story of American Life

The American dream at one point in time was the ultimate fantasy for families migrating to the United States. However through out history, even if a person or persons has exceeded into the United States as a legal U.S. citizen they are not treated as such. The clip in class regarding the aliens in south africa touched on this issue. If someone is not born here, but knows that a better life is in America, or in the Aliens case earth, then why would they not want to try and move. When Immigrants try and begin their lives in the United States, they begin to try and fit into the norms of what our culture has developed. Since we see that they do not know how to act and behave to become an "excepted" U.S. citizen we begin to classify and use them. The clip demonstrated this through its website. The employeement opportunities for "aliens" were very poor quality jobs that humans new no body wanted. Since this is the only type of empolyeement humans offered to the aliens, they wanted to fit into society and expect these jobs to try and make it into our culture. Immigrants our no different from us, and if they travel to the United States in search of a better life and demonstrate that they can complete tasks and jobs in our society, what gives us the right to pick and choose their opportunities and income values. Just because most Americans are born with endless opportunities does not give us the right to stop others from different places to access these chances too.

Discussion Questions:

1. Is it right to deny a person of the same opportunties you have had as a U.S. citizen because they are not from America?

2. Can you describe a time in which you witnessed an immigrant being taken advantage of due to their status?

3. What can we do as U.S. citizens to fix this problem?

Alive in Joburgh, MNU

When first watching this YouTube video to be quite honest I was really confused on what was actually going on. Then looking at the MNU website, I was thinking who has this much time on their hands to make up this site. After discussing more about things in class it started to gel together.
This video can be used for educational purporses to show how it relates to how we treat immigrants and minorities everywhere. In the U.S. I feel that this could be very useful. We say we treat people equally, but just until this past year we have an African American President. We need to open our eyes more and not stop judging people by the way they look. This problem is not just in our country it is everywhere. If everyone could use a tool like this to show how we treat "aliens" maybe then it would be a start to stop what we do with the generations to come. This website and video could be used to show how people are treated, and how we as a society let it happen.

Discussion Question
1. If you watched this short clip on YouTube would now show it to others, or even your children?

2. If you answered yes to the question above, would you then explain to them what is actually going on in this clip, and how we as a nation judge others?

American Family vs. Economic Status

Today in the United States much emphasis is placed the value of hard work and what that hard work can get. Everyone, except the very young and the very old, is expected to have a job in order to be a contributing member of our capitalist and materialistic societ. Though our culture values family, women and men that decide to be stay-at-home parents or spouses are viewed as having less value than other working women and me.

Our society also expects Americans to show their contribution to capitalism other way. Displaying ownership or usage of the latest fashions in clothing, technology and entertainment give Americans status and popularity within our culture. Owning the latest video game console or attending the rock concert of the year is a mark of social and economic superiority.

This atmosphere of keeping up with the Jones’ exacerbates the very presence of materialism within our society. Americans have been socialized to desire the attention and status that they receive from their display of wealth. This desire in some cases will even override people’s logical sense of safety, financial security and health. Paying the electric bill or eating healthy foods takes a back seat to buying DVD’s and new clothes. This failing of logic demonstrates the imbalance between the American values of good health and happy family and the American ideal of wealth.

Discussion Questions:

What other American values are contradicted by the American ideal of attaining economic status?

In what other ways is American society influenced by materialism in our culture?

Breaking down closet doors

On November 4, 2008 Americans elected the first African American President in this country’s history; it was seen as a giant step forward in the fight for equality. On that same date Proposition 8 was passed by the citizens of California; they not only voted to take away the right of homosexuals in that state to be married, but they changed their state’s constitution in order to do so. To me, it is unbelievable that in today’s society people would vote to take another human’s rights away based on a stereotype and stigma that has been perpetuated by religious bigots for many years. As Harvey Milk so eloquently stated, “More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion.”

Harvey Milk was the first openly gay man to be elected to, and to serve in any type of government; he fought a long and exhaustive fight against the stereotypical view of homosexuals in order to prove that they deserved to be treated equally and without prejudice. In Milk’s time, he was fighting for the rights of homosexuals to be treated as humans and not as degenerates. He proposed that homosexuals that had not come out of the closet because they were afraid of repercussions from society were basically perpetuating the stigmatization of homosexuality.

It is understandable that “coming out” is a difficult task, many people who come out are setting themselves up for the possibility of rejection from the people who matter to them the most. I have to argue, however, that we need to break down these barriers once and for all in our society, and to do that we must stop running away from the painful issues that are involved. Milk said, "Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight." Homosexuals can not continue to allow the stereotypes that society has given to them to define them in a negative way. When someone’s doctor, neighbor, relative or friend comes out of the closet, it provides a new and healthier definition of what it is to be gay or lesbian, and once we start redefining the stereotypes in society we can begin the journey to equality.

Discussion Questions:

1. Has anyone that was close to you ever "come out of the closet", if yes did it change your perception of homosexuality? If no, do you think that it would change your perception?

2. Do you think that the stigmatization of homosexuals in this country can be ended? Why or why not?

3. Do you think that after some equality is attained by homosexuals that another group will acquire their negative status, in other words, do you think that Americans just need someone to hate?

Sexual Identity: Cultural Taboo's and Norms

Sexual identity is a social construct formed primarily through social and cultural factors. It is an extraordinarily complex concept which impacts and is affected by other identities within the individual. It begins to form in adolsecence due to hormonal changes and exploration of one's identity. Sexual identity encompasses many aspects of the individual including sexual orientation.
Society defines individuals as gay, straight, or bi-sexual in order to categorize and make proper judgements. It helps the collective to define what is 'right' and'wrong'. Sexual orientation is based on a continuum of 'heterosexual' and 'homosexual'. Heterosexual is the default orientation. It is considered by today's American culture to be the norm or 'right'. Homosexual is the taboo or stigimitzed label one can carry. There are various justifications society offers for the meanings implied by homosexuality. The most popular reasons are religious in nature or deal with procreation. Interestingly enough, findings show more similiarities than differences between homosexual and heterosexual couples.
Categorizing individuals in order to differeniate between what is 'right' and 'wrong' is vital to society and the protection of its members. However, this concept has been taken to extremes where everyone in every aspect must fit into a box i.e white, female, straight, middle class. Within recent decades we have begun to chip away slowly at these walls which stifle the gray area in which we live. Hopefully, one day this society will see true equality or at the very least equity.

Discussion Questions:
1. Norms and taboo's help us define what is 'right' and 'wrong'. Should society do away with these definitions to advance the equality of all? And, if we do how do we deal with pedophiles,
incest, and things of that nature?

2. Many people claim to be accepting of non-traditional lifestyles. How would you feel if someone in your immediate family came out? Would it be easier to accept if one had liberal tendancies?

3. We all have built in predjuices. Compare and contrast your feelings/thoughts towards the following
- 2 men kissing/being affectionate in public
-2 women kissing/being affectionate in public
-a man and woman kissing/being affectionate in public

"Coming out"

When considering the topic of sexuality and sexual identity, an interesting topic, that can be very difficult for many individuals to deal with, comes to mind. The process an individual goes through to “come out” or inform loved ones that they are gay or lesbian can be the most trying event of their lives. According to Eli Coleman, an individual goes through five stages to complete this process. The stages are as follows: Pre-coming out, coming out, exploration, first relationship, and lastly, integration.   The stages posit that a person will begin by suppressing the feelings of same sex attraction, become aware consciously of the feelings, become involved or interact with other gays or lesbians, develop their first homosexual relationship, and finally, allow themselves to have an integrated self-image which continues for the rest of their lives.

  It is interesting to consider the biggest influence on why a person is hesitant to “come out.” I believe that most of the time it has to do with feeling of shame or embarrassment or worries about what their family members will think once they inform them.  However, I think the biggest reason why some people are hesitant is because of media and societal pressures.  Society can place a stigma on individuals who are homosexual that can be very negative. The pop culture phrase “You’re being gay” said by many adolescents, does not even mean a person is being homosexual, the phrase means that the person is doing something unfavorable. Though it is not legal, many employers can engage in harassment towards individuals who are homosexual simply based on their own prejudices.  The media has portrayed homosexuality negatively for many years, only recently is the stigma starting to lift. However, it hasn’t been lifted enough where homosexuals and heterosexuals are thought of as equals. There are magazines where they heavily stereotype homosexuals, movies, television shows, and so on.  With these influences so large, it is no wonder why individuals are hesitant to “come out.”

Discussion Questions:

1.       Are the five stages that Coleman posits a person goes through to “come out” plausible? Why or Why not?

2.       Do you believe that societal pressures and media are the biggest influence on a person? Why or Why not?

3.       How do you feel about the controversial issue of homosexuality being apparent at birth, or something that develops over time?  

Sexual Orientation: Genetics or Socialization

It is hard to believe that less than 50 years ago being a homosexual was classified as a serious mental illness as to which people suffered endlessly in the search for its cure. And although today that is not the case, there is still a lot of controversy about what makes someone become gay. This has lead to a wide variety of theories, some more creditable than others, but all surrounding the belief that there is something that makes a person gay.
Some scientists and researchers believe that there is such a thing as a "gay gene" present in a homosexuals DNA. Others have come out saying that it has to do with the hormone levels that an infant is exposed to in the womb. There are even those that believe that you can tell the sexual orientation of a person by the time they are six years old. (That is crazy).
I say, why can't we just call it natural. All throughout the animal kingdom there is documented homosexual behavior. Giraffes, lions, swans, and even the mighty bison all have been captured having intimate homosexual moments. Even mammals that we consider to be smarter and more like us, such as dolphins and monkeys, have displayed attraction and affection for those of their own sex. It is natural for males to be attracted to females because that is how our species survives. Why therefore, could it not be just as natural for two members of the same sex to be attracted to each other as natures way of helping to balance and maintain the population? Society has seemed to deem homosexuality as unnatural not nature. A persons sexual orientation is only one facet in a persons identity and does not make up who they are, therefore it should not define them but be one characteristic to describe them.

Questions:
1. What do you think about some of the theories that are associated with homosexuality?

2. What are the two most important factors that help a person in developing their sexual orientation?

A Helpful Reading

Adolescence, Sexual Orientation & IdentityAn Overview

Click the link to visit the reading.

Exam - Spring 2009

Sociology of Life Cycles
Exam -- Spring 2009
Due Date: Friday, March 20, 2009 @ 2:15 pm via email
ramatthews@edinboro.edu

INSTRUCTIONS
1. Answer 3 of the 5 questions.
2. Format: 1” margins -- Arial Font -- 11 pt
3. Create a header in the upper right corner header with your last name & first initial. Underneath it (one space down) place the page number. Underneath that, place your email address. The font size for the header should be 8 pt.
4. Place the question above each response.
5. Use in text citations & include your references at the end of each response.

GUIDELINES
* Answer three (3) of the five (5) questions.
* Use a theoretical perspective in each response.
* Use the readings, and reference, at least, one in each response.
* Please feel free to discuss these questions with each other. It is the best way to understand the subject matter. However, do not write your answers together, as this increases the likelihood that you will unintentionally plagiarize each others’ work.
* Type your responses! And place the questions above your responses.
* I will not accept hard copy exams. Turn it in, in, via email, by Friday, March 20th, at 2:15 pm.
* I will not answer questions regarding your responses once I have handed out the exam. You may, however, ask for clarification.
* Do not ask questions in your responses. Answer them. Remember, you are the expert here.
* Don’t bullshit me. I really hate it. If you don’t know the answer, move on to another one.

1. The sociological perspective allows us to view social interactions from a broader perspective than other social sciences generally allow. Choose a social interaction, such as dating, teen pregnancy, or societal responses to media, and using one of the major theoretical perspectives analyze it. Make sure to address socio-cultural factors inherent in the social interaction that you choose.

2. Stephen Hunt, in the chapter titled “Theoretical Accounts of the Life Course,” discusses three major approaches to the examining the life course; biological, psychological and social. Clausen, in the chapter titled, “Theories and Themes of the Life Course” addresses the same perspectives. Additionally, one of the models that informs these approaches is “timing of events.” Using an intersection of the approaches to studying the life course and the timing of events model, state, analyze and discuss the new social responses to dealing with children reaching puberty at much earlier ages than at any time during modern history.

3. Thoroughly discuss least one major theme/perspective of life cycles (and no more than two). In your response discuss at least one demonstration of the theme or perspective.

4. In U.S. society, when confronted with what is generally considered to be poor parenting, the following remark is often made “You have to get a license to drive, but any idiot can have a baby.” This statement references the ubiquitous presence of sex in our society as well as the expectation that people actually become parents & use their “parental instincts” and “common sense” to rear their children. In sociology it is understood that neither of these concepts actually exist in the real world. Given these social facts, thoroughly discuss the juxtaposition of ideal expectations of parenthood and the social realities that parenthood often brings. Be sure to include at least one theorist’s discussion of the impact of social interaction on the development of identity.

5. Given the role of popular culture in the construction of gender, as a primary role in an individual’s development, discuss the sociological impact that media has on the formation of gender roles. Be sure to include a discussion of stratification and the relative imbalances of power that are inherent in the formation of gender roles.

Reproduction and Infancy

In today's society it is any woman's right be a parent and with today's technology it is possible for almost any woman to have a child. The first successful vitro fertilization was in England in 1978 (Pregnancy with Complications). Now whether the woman is too old to have a child or too young is not anyone's choice to make accept for that woman who wants to have the child. Many woman are chosing to have children later in life because they want to have an established career first or they have different life experiences that they cannot have a child till they are much older. My old boss who, when she had her first child was 37, she and her significant other tried for seven years to have a baby so is she too old? Her significant other turn 51 the year their daughter was born and nobody was saying anything to him. Why is it that its ok for a man to be in his fifties and sixties and father a child but if a woman does it people think she is crazy?

There are many factors that go into parenting, for example how you chose to discipline or if you should send your child to daycare so that they can interact with other children and learn social skills. Many people have to send their child to daycare so that they can work but heres the thing, daycare is costly and if you don't make enough to cover the cost but yet you just fall short for assistance through the government how is the parent going to be able to work and make sure their child is taken care of? Some people are lucky and have family around that can help out but there are people who do not have that option especially if there family is out of state.

I think that parents today have a lot more to worry about when it comes to there child because there is so much out there with the media and internet its easy for kids to get access to whatever they want. Parenting is the most difficult but yet rewarding job around.

Anyone can be a parent it is the chose that you make that you want to see your child succeed in life and be extrordinary.

1. Is there an appropriate age for a woman to have a child?
2. Would it be possible in the future with the way technology is going that a man could have a baby and would it be socially acceptable?

Youth! Nothing but Trouble!

In todays society when you hear the word youth we usually associate it with terms like trouble, no good, lazy, deviant, or out of control. Society today has such a negative outlook on our youth today and are doing nothing but adding to the problem. We have so many rules and regulations for youth and the notion that all are deviant and can contribute nothing to our productive society but havic. When in reality youth act out because they want to be noticed and whats the best way to be noticed than breaking the norms of society. We never look at the good that our youth are doing today. We always focus on the negative. For example the high teen pregnancy rate or the crime rate raising amoung teens. In the 80's the labeled a type of music that youth listened to as "killer music" because it was asscoiated with raves. Why do we always look at our youth as a negative thing. They are going through the same changes in life as everyone else is just at a harder period. Youth also have the burden of school in their lives. If they aren't going to persue higher education they are looked down upon and seen as letting down society. They have so many expectations to look up to that if they don't meet them they are seen as "troubled". No matter what our youth do they are always going to be looked down upon because of our societies notion of all youth are "troubled" because thats how the media portrays them.

Question 1: When you hear the word youth what do you think of?
Question 2: Why does society only highlight the troubles of youth and not the positives?

What do you think when you hear the word youth?

Many people believe that youth is a temporary time that children sure difficult and do not understand the norms of life. Many people believe that youth is a time for kids to act out and defy authority. The fact is that everyone at this time of their lives go through a period of change that include physical and psychological needs. Children need to go through this time period with understanding of learning to develop relationships with friends and family. In this period of high changes youth are commonly precived as misbehaving and disrespectful. In all reality children go through these changes to develop own self idenity. Most youth develop a self knowledge of how they want to be or who they want to be. They start developing responsability and knowledge of how they want their lives to be. This time period to most, is a difficult to deal with a teenager, but in fact how you deal with your children at this time of their lives is very critical in their development. Youth also start to develop more of an intamate relationship with their signifant others. I'm not referring to a sexual relationship, but more on the issues of relationships that are more emotionally attached. They start to understand what attracts them to other people and what does not. This is important for youth to understand because they start to understand the importance of developing these types of relationships. Some believe that it is not important for children of this age to develop these "types" of relationships, but I believe that at this time youth should know developing these types of relationships is something that everyone does at different times in their life. I also believe that not many children at this age find their one true love, but the people they get to know on these emotional levels help them develop the self knowledge of themselves and others.

Discussion Questions:
1) When is it socially expected that youth should have a girlfriend/boyfriend

2) Should parents let their children date below the age of eighteen, and how does that affect the child's ability to develop understandings of building relationships with other peers.

The Mid-Term Practice Exam

Mid-Term Practice Exam
Sociology of Life Cycles, SOC 390, Section 001
Tuesday/Thursday 2:00 – 3:15 pm – Spring 2009
Dr. Rhonda Matthews
DUE TUESDAY – MARCH 3RD @ 2:PM

GUIDELINES
Use a theoretical perspective in the response.
Use the text, and reference it, at least once in your response.
Please feel free to discuss the question with each other. It is the best way to understand the subject matter. However, do not write your answer together, as this increases the likelihood that you will unintentionally plagiarize each others’ work.
Type your responses! And place the question above your response.
Email your question by 2 pm, Tuesday, March 3rd. Feel free to email it early.
I will not answer once I have handed out the exam. You may, however, ask for clarification.
Do not ask questions in your response. Answer them. Remember, you are the expert here.
Don’t bullshit me. I really hate it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In U.S. society, when confronted with what is generally considered to be poor parenting, the following remark is often made “You have to get a license to drive, but any idiot can have a baby.” This statement references the ubiquitous presence of sex in our society as well as the expectation that people actually become parents & use their “parental instincts” and “common sense” to rear their children. In sociology it is understood that neither of these concepts actually exist in the real world. These axioms have been tested lately by the advent of fertility technology and the rise in old women having babies, as well as the increase of women having litters of babies.

Given these social facts, thoroughly discuss the juxtaposition of ideal expectations of parenthood and the social realities that parenthood often brings. Be sure to include at least one theorist’s discussion of the impact of social interaction on the development of identity, as well as the impact of gender on these social interactions.

Experience is the Best Teacher

Recently, I had a man come up to me and begin talking to me about how he would become a father later this year. This was interesting to me because this man has never been around babies throughout his life. I asked if he was excited and what he was doing to prepare for the arrival of his child. He proceeded to tell me of how he bought a book and began to read it. The first thought that popped into my head was "oh no."
The book he had been reading had told him that he and the baby's mother and everyone who would be around the baby had to do everything the same. The book was talking about everything from picking the baby up to changing it to anything you can think of that would have anything to do with the baby. If things were not done the same with the baby, it would cause the baby to have emotional distress (according to the book). At this, I laughed. I applaud his effort in choosing to learn how to care for his child but to me, this book was absurd.
I, on the other hand, have been around children and babies my entire life. To me experience in caring for infants and children is the best teacher. You can't learn any of that from a book. You can get ideas and helpful hints but something that may work for one person probably isn't going to work for everyone.
Don't get me wrong, I think that books can be helpful in many ways but don't take them as the only truth. There are many other thoughts and ideas that should be taken into account. When having and raising a child, find what works for you.

Effects of Divorce on Childhood

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/children_divorce.htm

As society and cultural norms change, the divorce rate continues to rise. Children as well as parents, feel the effects of divorce. This is one of the childhood issues that millions of individuals face while growing up. It is shown that children who come from divorced families are more likely to experience poor coping skills, less intimate relationships, behavior problems, and greater risk for depression or anxiety. All though some experts disagree on the negative effects divorce can leave, none will say it is easy. How do you explain to your children the concept of mommy and daddy no longer living together?

“For kids, divorce means the loss of a parent and the loss of life as they know it. Even though both parents remain physically present, a child’s sense of stability is upset because the family unit is broken apart (Helpguide.org).” Do you sugarcoat the truth to protect your children or tell them straightforward the reasons for divorce? Most recommend considering the child’s age and maturity level, but it is easier said than done. It is important to remember to reassure children that it isn’t their fault and that it is between mom and dad.

“Helping Children Understand Divorce” from University of Missouri discusses a list of wants a child requests from their mom and dad. Receiving support when problems arise, communicating directly with the other parent, allowing time spent with each parent, and staying involved in the child’s life are typical things children want after divorce.

It is comforting to know that there is ton of extra support available for children dealing with these issues. The break up of the family unit has consequences that affect each child differently. It is difficult to determine how children will develop and continue through life after divorce.


Discussion Questions:

1. Should parents stay together for the sake of their children?

2. What is your viewpoint on the negative effects divorce can have on children.

Childhood Issues

Childhood research shows determines our personalities and pretty much the type of person we become. There are many influences that impact us i.e. our parents, society, peers; they all play a role in shaping our lives and especially our childhood. During childhood I feel that children go through so much pressure to conform to the standards their parents and society have set for them to act in their gender roles. I personally don’t see the problem with a boy playing with dolls (it’s not going to make him a homosexual). I think that fathers especially put pressures on their sons from birth to act like a man, suck it up and they do not allow room for their child to develop how they want. I believe it’s true that fathers treat their daughters differently. Fathers tend to treat girls in the stereotypical princess way. I applaud fathers who treat their children the same regardless of gender roles. I tend to disagree with this statement, “There is greater pressure for boys to conform to traditional male roles than for girls to conform to traditional female roles.” If anything I think that the pressure is somewhat equal or a little greater for females to conform to traditional roles. As we have discussed in class and through some of the exercises we have done there is still a stereotypical view of a female, we all know what those are. Having these pressures for both females and males since childhood can affect the person we become in later adulthood. From childhood “Children who play in sex-appropriate activities are more likely to be rewarded by peers and children who play in cross-sex activities are more likely to be criticized.” This statement goes back to what I previously stated that children are taught at an early age what their gender roles are. What we need understand is how our childhood has shaped us and that will determine how we raise our children and who knows the cycle of stereotypes just might continue.

Which Parent is the BEST?

In modern American society, there are children being brought up in so many different ways. There are parenting styles, such as Baumrind's authoritarian, authoritative, neglectful and indulgent parenting, but these certainly are not all that matter when raising a child. Types of families come into play as well, such as a single-mother family, single-father family, nuclear family, families with step-parents, same-sex parents, children being raised by grandparents, and so on. Institutions also play a vital role. Where is the child going to school? Some people prefer private schools to public schools. Some people would like to send their children to private schooling, but it can be quite costly. Cathedral Prep High School and Villa Maria Academy cost over $6,000 annually. Many people do not have the financial means for that. Recently there have been more charter schools being created. Northwest Pennsylvania Collegiate Academy is an excellent example. Some of the smartest students in Erie attend Collegiate Academy and receive an outstanding education, and this is all for free!

With all that is mentioned above, what type of parent is the best? Which type of family? And to which school should the parents send their child? I believe that there is more than one right answer to all of these. One might believe that the nuclear family using an authoritative parenting style that has some money would be ideal, but there aren't too many of these today in America. 

Not everyone is vastly blessed, so each parent should just accept who they are and what they have and raise their child in the best way possible. Love is crucial to raising any child. And some things that a child could certainly do without are abuse, whether emotional or physical, and neglect. A child is such a precious being, and their socialization process lies heavily on the parent(s).  

"I didn't know, that I could ever love anyone this much."  -Sophia in Pregnant With Complications about her son. 

 "We are all born for love...it is the principle existence and it's only end." -Benjamin Disraeli

Discussion Questions:

1. All things considered, shouldn't it be possible that any parent, whether single, divorced, married, gay or lesbian could raise a child to be an excellent adult? 

2. Are two loving gay parents enough for the child? Consider how many children are being raised by single-parents, which is over 25% according to a U.S. Census Bureau Report.

3. Do you think public or private schools are better for the education of your child? And why? 

Litters & Litters & Litters of Babies

Nadya Suleman. This name will live in infamy, all because she wanted to be a mom -- a lot.

I am of two minds regarding this mother of octuplets. On the one hand whenever I think of her, I think, with a violent shudder, "Ugh!." In fairness, I think this of all women who have litters of babies. On the other hand, however, I have a rising sense of anger with the ways in which this woman has been depicted in various media. The commentary has been extraordinarily uncritical. Yes, she is a single mom. No, she doesn't seem to have remunerative employment. Yes, she seems slightly, well a little more than slightly, unhinged. But in what ways does she differ from Michelle Duggar , the human brood mare featured on TLC's so-called reality show 17 Kids & Counting? In what way does she differ from Kate Gosselin? She is the mother of sextuplets and star of the so-called reality show Jon & Kate Plus 8. The most obvious social fact is that Ms. Suleman is not married, but the more insidious social determinant, the one that seems to be driving the majority of the prejudiced discussions, is the fact that she is not middle class or above.

The commentary has been nothing, if not predictable. "If she already had 6 children, why would need more?" "She's not even married." "She doesn't have a job," "She's irresponsible," etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. These criticisms have reached crescendo. Above the din, I find myself asking this one persistent cultural question: "Isn't she only acting out the cultural imperative for women to be mothers? And if so, what is it about this particular woman, that has raised the ire of feminists and anti-choice people alike?"

Our society says to women that unless we become mothers, our lives are essentially meaningless. Once we become mothers, we are expected to make definitive, declarative statements about the superiority of motherhood to all other endeavors in life. When women make social and personal statements about the realities of motherhood, she is often given subtle negative sanctions. Women who do not to have children are suspect, unless it is discovered that they have biological fertility issues, in which case, they become pitiable. Nadya Suleman, Michelle Duggar, Kate Gosselin and many others, are living, breathing, breeding embodiments of this cultural, reproductive imperative. Yet, Ms. Suleman receives chastisement (at best) while the Duggars & Gosselins received lucrative contracts to chronicle and display portions of their lives in the media.

Though I am a strong proponent of taking women and men out of old, tired, unproductive gender role patterns, I find myself more angry with the hypocrisy of those who criticize her than I find myself being angry with her. Though I do believe her to be unduly focused on "becoming a mother," when I think about her situation in the most objective way that I can, I wonder how different her single-minded drive to be a mother is any different than the single-minded drive of a person who forgoes creating a family in favor of a career that they love.

Other questions that cross my mind include, where are the religious right, anti-choice people to defend her? It seems that Ms. Suleman would be a person that they would champion for her decision to "be fruitful and multiply." Where are media supporters -- the ones who want to tell her story? Mostly, those voices have been negative. Why is there criticism of her doctor? In a society in which the free market is supposed to reign and any way in which people can make money is acceptable, why is he criticized? This seems a stunning contradiction of our core U.S. value of science and progress. Would he have been criticized if we found out that he had helped Jim Duggar overcome infertility, only to go on and sire 18 children? the double standards are legion.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/10/octuplet-mom-nadya-sulema_n_165508.html

Discussion Questions
1. In an analysis of the media coverage of Nadya Suleman's pregnancy and childbirth, explain the socio-cultural messages presented using at least one, no more than two theories.

2. Compare and contrast Nadya Suleman's situation with that of Kate Gosselin and Michelle Duggar.

3. Using three major points, address the role of gender and media in the development of a public persona of Ms. Suleman and the public's response to her.

Your Parent's Type

There are four basic parenting styles that we associate with different aspects of children's development, thanks to Baumrind. You never really look into what "type" your parents are. I never knew about the different types/styles, until my freshmen year of college. Where I took Psychology 101 and learn the four types of parenting styles.
Which are:Authoritarian parents are highly demanding and directive, but not responsive. "They are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation" (Baumrind, 1991, p. 62). These parents provide well-ordered and structured environments with clearly stated rules. Authoritative parents are both demanding and responsive. "They monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative" (Baumrind, 1991, p. 6 Neglectful parents are low in both responsiveness and demandingness. In extreme cases, this parenting style might encompass both rejecting–neglecting and neglectful parents, although most parents of this type fall within the normal range. Indulgent parents (also referred to as "permissive" or "non directive") "are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation" (Baumrind, 1991, p. 62). This is just a brief description of the types.
I believe now as we are adults we can look back on our own parents and apply types. It is also to see how your parents are together and how they are suppose to work together to raise you. An they both can be two different styles, that are total opposite. The types explain a lot in why you may ask one parent over the other parent. I believe your parents' style plays a large factor into your own parenting style. It can either have a negative effect: I will not be like my parents; or positive effect: I want to be like my parents.


1) What type of parenting style was/are your parents? An discuss a few examples of each parent's style.

2) What is the line between Authoritarian and Authoritative parenting?

Parenting: A Blessing or a Burden?

Obviously, there wouldn’t be a life cycle if it weren’t for parenting or rearing children. However, raising a child isn’t for everyone, and I often wonder what I would do if I was in a situation facing having a child. Basically, I believe that from conception children suck the life out of parents from the womb and even to the tomb. A study by Florida State University professor Robin Simon and Vanderbilt University's Ranae Evenson found that parents have significantly higher levels of depression than adults who do not have children. And, this depression often lasts after the child is grown up. The findings do not mean that parents don't find any pleasure in their roles; it's just that the emotional costs can outweigh the psychological benefits. "It's how we do parenting in this society," Simon said. "We do it in a very isolated way and everything is on us as individuals to get it right. Our successes are our own, but so are our failures. It's emotionally draining."
So let’s say the pros outweigh the cons and you decide to have a baby. Let’s hope you haven’t been ballin too hard since college because a kid is going to cost you. In 2004 (not including what it would cost in the 2009 economy!) The cost for a middle class couple to care for a child from birth to age 17 was $184,320 (that doesn’t include college!). This is a rough estimate of course, and it doesn’t include other money you lose on things like giving up a career to care for it, or even if you don’t there’s childcare. Yes folks, let’s not forget that the U.S. national average for full time day care is $611 a month, but in really good facilities and big cities it can be as high as 300+ per week.
Well, the fate of the world’s population depends on us to reproduce, so eventually despite these facts most of us are going to have children (I suppose there is that list of good things like fulfillment, love, togetherness, and all that stuff). Next, you have to decide how you want to raise this child, and there are many parenting styles and depending on which you choose will determine what your child grows up to be like. Above any of these styles, I think it is the way the child is socialized determines the personality (so there are no “bad” kids, it’s all on how the parents raise them). For example if you raise your voice, are aggressive, or use bad manners around your child, they are going to turn out that way.


1) Do you think the sacrifices are worth the fulfillment of a child? If we didn't have to reproduce would the majory of people still choose to?

2)Which of the 4 parenting styles presented by Baumrind is the most efficient for raising a child?

Corporal Punishment or Just Discipline?

In our society today is it really that terrible to spank your child? Some believe spanking is a necessary component of raising children, however it's only legitimate when used in the right manner. Parenting styles are different in other cultures, but the ideology of spanking will remain infused in our lives. This form of punishment has been taught throughout generations. Even though there have been few research studies done on the effects of spanking on children, it has been proven that it causes some disobedience. But isn't that what we don't want?

I have been spanked since I was a little girl but before that, I was put in time out. I always knew this form of punishment would do nothing about my behavior and it never seemed to be effective enough. If spanking was the only form of punishment that helped parents gain control of their children, and it was taken away, wouldn't they become so out of control that they would be unstoppable? People would be calling children services more than they do now! The only time I ever listened to my parents, did what I was told or kept out of trouble was if I was spanked because of my actions previously. Some say that spanking children teaches them to be afraid and only generates more hatred because of the humiliation. This may cause some problems with the child. If the parent is angry toward the child and gets spanked, then as soon as the child becomes angry, he/she will become violent. I do not believe this is the case at all. I believe under certain circumstances, spanking is an acceptable punishment. BUT, time outs are a joke and don't do anything for helping children grow up knowing what's right or wrong. According to CNN news, last year more than 200,000 children were spanked at school. Some people interviewed for this believe that they were just disciplinary measures that needed to be taken. But if that many children are being spanked every year in schools alone, is it really that awful? As I said previously, I was spanked ever since I was a child, and I never suffered from any antisocial behaviors. I also never thought of my parents as being abusive towards me. I think interactions between the family members and the children need to be assessed before even considering spanking as being child abuse.



Discussion questions:

1.) Is spanking a form of corporal punishment?

2.) Do you think spanking should be avoided? Does this cause more violence in the family?

3.) Do you think spanking is a form of child abuse?

The Class Divide

In a society where there are many “haves” and “have-nots” it is inspiring to see such a prestigious school fight to break down the barriers of social class. In Carl Marx’s conflict theory, society is viewed as an arena of inequality generating conflict and change. This is true for many pursuing an education. Often, lower and middle class families have difficulty financing the education of their youths. Either no secondary education is provided or families are forced to settle with what they can afford, not what they would like to pursue, or are qualified to pursue. "I think everyone in higher education is aware of the growing economic divide in this country, and the challenges that divide creates for institutions that want the best students from across the society," says Amherst president Anthony Marx. Amherst is trying to accommodate for those in the middle-class who have worked extremely hard to get placement at the school. They are provided with loans and financial aid; Amherst even provides suits to students for job interviews. Then you have students whose parents have been able to easily provide for them financially and are nearly guaranteed a great paying job after graduation. Ultimately Amherst is working to correct inequalities so that students can get the education they deserve.

Take Edinboro University for example, we all come here for similar financial reasons. We are given good educations but due to the lack of funds our environment isn’t as beneficial as some. I have a friend who attends Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. From discussing classes with her, yes her work load seems a bit more hectic than the load I have experienced but they are also provided with opportunities connections that we just don’t see here. This is strictly due to the social class. She has a friend who is music major; with his connections he has already become a millionaire, as a radio DJ. Students at Edinboro are lucky to get their name out there. When is the last time Bill Gates donated money for a new building on Edinboro’s campus? He has for Carnegie Mellon. It is obvious to see the divide of social class, and it would be nice to see it slowly disappear, however, I’m not sure if I see that any time soon.

What do you think can be done at small schools like Edinboro to help tackle this issue?

Why is it that this divide is so hard to correct?

Will the Death of Family Birth Individuality?

Religious beliefs aside… is it possible that the institution of family, more specifically the nuclear model, has died and been reincarnated as individuality? Not individuality in a sense of rebellion against cultural folkways i.e. piercings and tattoos (before it was cool) but individuality as it relates to the structure of family. More and more people are choosing not to marry and have the two and a half children. Instead people are opting to stay single, cohabitate or exercise their right to legally live in union with someone of the same sex. The institution of marriage itself is moving away from the “love will conquer all” Western view to a more capitalistic business venture. I believe the changing structure of the family in America is affecting the way younger Americans view marriage.

Of all of the institutions that contribute to the socialization of an individual, I choose to attack family because it is the first institution an individual is exposed to and in my mind the most important. The reason I put family on a pedestal in terms of importance is because this is where socialization starts. Family encourages conformity on a micro level. Familiy teaches individuals how to behave by the example set by parents and older siblings. The status of a family dictates where the children are educated and what media they are exposed to. If the family is of lower class standing it generally means that their child will be attending a local public school, where there is a good chance that over the course of their 13 year education (kindergarten included) the child will encounter things attributed to a lower class culture like drugs, violence and premarital sex. I believe these experiences will shape the lenses in which they will view the world.

-CAVEAT- The key word here is GENERALLY. I understand that there are exceptions to the rule but for the most part everything goes according to plan, so to speak. What I’m trying to illustrate is “the other side of the news” the side where everything stays the same. Yeah there was a school shooting at this high school but at every other high school, not highlighted in this segment, it was business as usual. -CAVEAT ENDED-

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think ones family structure is the end all in how a person will be socialized to view relationships in the future because I believe it is a lot more complex than that. For example, both of my parents are together, have four children and are living happily. They met in October of 1981 and were married by April of 1982. To my knowledge there wasn’t any exchange that cemented their marriage except love. I see things a little differently. I wouldn’t even hint at a relationship with my last girlfriend until she got a job. Things are different in 2009. I think it takes more than love to make a relationship work passed the honeymoon. It takes tax breaks, prenuptial agreements and hard work. Okay, the last sentence was a joke but you kind of see what I’m saying.

Discussion Questions:

1. What social institutions do you believe directly affect the family structure? Do you believe the affect of these institutions on family truly determines who a person will become?

2. What role does the acceptance, or disapproval, of the biological approach have on marriage in the 21 Century? Has the biological approach shaped what we view as a normal marriage?

Yet Another Old Ass Woman Has A Baby

I can guarantee you that the title of this post was the third thought that came into the minds of 99 percent of the people who first heard this story. The first response was "What?!" The second response was "Why? Why would you do that?" (speaking to her as if she were standing in front of us, willing to be questioned). But is it the third response that is most lasting -- resignation. "Yet another old ass woman has had a baby."

In the myriad social variables among which we all live, it is difficult to place ourselves in the shoes of another person in our own society. It would seem an easy thing to do. We are, after all, reared with the same core cultural values, more or less. But even in our own society we are harshly judgmental of people whose ideas, actions and beliefs systems differ, even slightly, from our own. Culture, though the one common factor of people in various societies, is (potentially) the most divisive of all social factors and social determinants. It is culture which helps us to to decide what is good, right and acceptable in our social realms. Hence, it also defines what is bad, wrong and down right unacceptable.

Which brings me to Rajo Devi, Adriana Iliescu, and Carmela Bousada. My mother doesn't even know these women's names, but a discussion of any of them and their (old age motherhood) sends her into paroxysms of spitting tirades if incomprehension. She doesn't understand and, (here's the important part) she doesn't want to understand. My left leaning, accepting, outspoken, mother thinks that these women are at best, crazy, at worst very, very stupid. I admit, that I understand her point of view, personally, but when it's examined from a socio-cultural perspective of the life cycle it begins to make some intellectual sense.

They are all women. Yes, I know that this should go without saying, but it is the most important social variable of their stories. They are from India, Romania and Spain. How is it that they have all come to the conclusion that bearing a child as such advanced ages is a good thing to do? They are all women and in the lives of women the thing which is stressed most consistently, most ubiquitously, most obviously, most ferverently is motherhood. "What kind of a woman are you if you don't have children?" Look at the fertility industry in the United States. It is an industry, built upon the socio-cultural belief that women, above all else, must be biological mothers. Without motherhood, all else is meaningless. Right? Women who can't have children are viewed with pity in most societies. Where is the ancillary fertility industry to make men fathers; the ancillary pity for men who do not reproduce?

There are, undoubtly class issues at work here as well. Do we approve of poor women availing themselves of these services to have children? Would we look at them differently if their class standings were different? What about health and longevity? Does that make a difference when we examine their situations? How about ethnicity? Are some groups seen differently than others in terms of hyper-reproduction? These are all sociological factors and play a role in the women's decisions as well as our responses to them.

Discussion Questions
1. Discuss the importance of gender in reproduction in U.S. society. Address cross cultural perspectives. Are U.S. ideals on reproduction very different from that of other cultures?
2. Discuss the sociological impact of reproduction at older ages? What are the effects on societal structure?
3. What theoretical perspective work best in an analysis of the negative responses to these women having children at such advanced ages? Explain

Welcome to Sociology of Life Cycles!