PSYCHO-SOCIAL THOUGHTS ON DEATH

Undoubtedly death and dying have been institutionalized in the United States. This has affected how we grieve and how we deal, or don’t deal, with death in general. Not so long ago the average person died in his/her home surrounded by family and friends. This was part of the grieving process and death was accepted as a part of life.
In my family death is an open subject and it is looked at as part of life. By looking at death in this manner, there is less fear. While it is hard to not fear the unknown, talking about the unknown and the fact that everyone, no matter who they are, will face this unknown makes the subject easier to deal with when it occurs.
Even my young children understand that death is part of life. I do not want them to become desensitized to death and take the human element out of a very human fact. At a very young age, most children begin asking questions about death. It is a common occurrence in everyday life; whether it is a death of a person, a death of an animal life, or even a death of a plant. To ignore a child’s questions about death, not only desensitizes him/her, it does not teach them how to cope with death.
Additionally, by institutionalizing death, we have increased the commercialization of the grieving process. While we are afraid to talk about death before or when it happens, we are not afraid to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars during the grieving process. That is how we deal with death; we throw money at it and those who cannot afford to spend thousands of dollars on a funeral are made to feel as if they have failed their loved one somehow. We are not afraid to make donations to help someone give a loved one a burial. We are not afraid to make our own arrangement, financial and otherwise, for our own death, but we are afraid to discuss death itself. I find that a bit strange.
My family takes the opinion that our funerals should be carried out in the cheapest legal means possible and that the majority of the grieving process needs to focus on connecting with those left behind, not on how our dead selves can be shown how much we were loved by the amount of money spent on our funeral.
Discussion questions:
1. How do you feel that death should be explained to children?
2. What is the best way to deal with the death of a loved one and the grieving process? And does spending a lot of money, really help people cope with death?